I am wondering about causation. Which is tricky at both a semantic and scientific level. If a person suffers because their needs are not met, is the suffering caused by their need, the thing that causes them to need, or the person or situation that does not meet their need? I am purposely switching your example from parent and child to be more generic since I am not a parent. But to use your example, in some situations, I might say "your ignorance of how to support your children's needs causes their suffering." Sometimes that ignorance might be caused by the fact that you are allistic and they are autistic, sometimes it might be caused by limited communication of needs which arguably could be caused by autism, based on my limited information.On a different tangent, you left out the word "disease" which is based on the roots dis- (not) -ease (comfort). I think it might be interesting to think about whether autism primarily causes discomfort for Autistic people or allistic people.